Propunere de afaceri

O femeie din New York a scris pe un site financiar cerand sfaturi despre cum sa gaseasca un sot bogat: deja acest fapt singur e distractiv, dar partea cea mai tare e ceea ce i-a raspuns un tip.

*Ea*:
Sunt o fata frumoasa ( mai mult, foarte frumoasa) de 28 ani. Sunt inteligenta si am multa clasa. As vrea sa ma casatoresc cu cineva care castiga minim jumate de milion de dolari pe an.
Exista pe site-ul asta vreun barbat care sa castige atat? Sau sotii ale unor milionari care pot sa-mi dea sfaturi pe aceasta tema? Am avut deja relatii cu barbati care castigau 200 sau 250 mii $, dar acest lucru nu-mi permite sa locuiesc in Central Park West. Cunosc o doamna care face yoga cu mine, care s-a casatorit cu un bancher bogat si traieste la Tribeca, nu e atat de frumoasa ca mine si nici macar atat de inteligenta.
Asa ca ma intreb, ce a facut ea ca sa merite acest lucru si de ce eu nu reusesc? Cum pot sa ajung la nivelul ei?

*EL*:
Am citit e-mailul dvs cu mult interes, m-am gandit profund la cazul dvs si am elaborat un prospect al situatiei dvs.
Va asigur ca nu va fac sa pierdeti timpul, deoarece castig 500 mii $ pe an.
Clarificat acest lucru, consider faptele in urmatorul mod:

Ceea ce dvs oferiti, vazuta din perspectiva unui barbat ca acela pe care-l cautati e pur si simplu o afacere foarte proasta. Si acest lucru din urmatoarele motive:
Lasand la o parte blablabla, ceea ce dvs oferiti e o negociere foarte simpla. Dvs oferiti frumusetea dvs fizica iar eu ofer banii mei.
Propunerea e foarte clara , dar exista o mica problema. In mod sigur frumusetea dvs se va diminua putin cate putin si intr-o zi va disparea, in timp ce e foarte probabil sa creasca progresiv contul meu in banca. Asadar in
termeni economici dvs sunteti un activ care sufera de depreciere in timp ce eu sunt un activ care produce dividende.
Dvs nu numai ca suferiti o depreciere, aceasta e progresiva si creste in fiecare an! Va explic mai bine: azi dvs aveti 28 de ani, sunteti frumoasa si veti continua sa fiti pt urmatorii 5/10 ani, dar din ce in ce mai putin. Si intr-o zi, cand veti observa o poza a dvs de azi va veti da seama ca ati devenit o pruna uscata.
Acest lucru inseamna, in termeni de piata, ca azi sunteti bine cotata, ideala sa fiti vanduta, nu cumparata. Utilizand un limbaj wall street cine va poseda azi trebuie sa va puna in "trading position" pozitie de comert si nu "buy and hold" (cumpara si tine), cum se pare ca sugerati.
Asadar in termeni comerciali, casatoria ("buy and hold") cu dvs nu e o afacere buna pe termen mediu/lung.

In schimb inchirierea pe o anumita perioada poate fi chiar si din punct de vedere social o afacere inteleapta si am putea s-o luam in calcul. Am putea sa avem o relatie pt o anumita perioada. ..... Huuummm ....
Daca ma gandesc bine si ca sa ma asigur de cat sunteti de inteligenta, cu clasa si frumoasa, eu potential "client care inchiriaza" asa o "masina" cer ceea ce este corect: sa facem un test drive. Va rog sa stabiliti data si ora.

Cu stima,

Investitorul dvs.



Primita prin e-mail, sursa necunoscuta.

Let's smile!

Senior Moments

LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES:

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into.
She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher:
"They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.

The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."


FAMILY

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."


"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"

"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."

And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."


LITTLE LADY:

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.

As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex."

She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."


OLD FRIENDS:

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.

Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"


SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"


DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection.

The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through.

The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?"

Joke of the day

Two Spiders

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.
'They're mating,' her father replied.
'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.
That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.
'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, 'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped them flat.
'Well, we're not having any of that poofter sh*t in our garden' she said.

Joke of the day

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!'
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night' She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?' John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'
'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'
She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'

Joke of the day

THE COWBOY

A woman went into a bar in Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen.
The woman asked the cowboy if it's true what they say about men with big feet are well endowed. The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady. Why don't you come on out to the bunkhouse and find out?"
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him.
The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am. Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody never paid me fer mah services before."
The woman said; "Don't be flattered. Just take the money and buy boots that fit."

Britney Spears e foarte ocupata

In ultimul timp, consultand zecile de mesaje transmise catre adresa de e-mail, am constatat ca Britney Spears e foarte ocupata. Si, conform celor care transmit aceste mesaje, are ocupatii cat se poate de ciudate. Exemple:

Britney Spears will play a mutant in a new movie
Britney Spears: I Was Like a Nymphomaniac With NO Rubbers
Justin Timberlake Says "Britney Shaved Her Head Bald For Me"
Britney Spears Latest Rants Caught On Tape
Britney Spears Latest Wardrobe Malfunction Exposes Her Assets
Britney Spears Asks Fans to Name her New Album
Britney Spears Applies For Barack Obama Masseuse Job
Brad Pitt and Angelina are adopting Britney Spears
Britney Spears in Near Fatal Car Crash
Britney Spears Recording New Album - Forgotten How To Sing
Pope Benedict to Exorcise George Bush and Britney Spears on US Visit
Britney Spears Wants Hearing Moved
Britney Spears blames Peppy Cola for Sex tape
Britney Spears to Star in New Woody Allen Movie
Britney Spears Founds Charity to Help the Homeless As Part of Community Service Sentence
Britney Spears- foopS I Did It Again Spoof
Britney to give young parents tips on child care
Britney and Gazza's Shocking Re-hab Romance
Pregnancy Pact - We Did It For Britney Spears
Britney Spears wins custody battle
Britney Spears Gets New Tattoo After Mental Hospital Release
Britney Spears Net Worth Estimated at $125 Million
Hair extensions glue may be affecting Britney's brain claim trichologists
Marvin and Britney to share ward
Britney Spears Out of Hospital and Fighting for Palestinian Cause
Britney steals Jamie Lynn's fetus
Britney Spears Threatens to Ditch Greenback
Britney Spears becomes the newest "Vitameatavegamin Vitamins" girl
California Storm is Britney Spears Fault
Britney heartbroken as Diana's Butler beds Winehouse
Angelina Jolie and Britney Spears lesbian sex tape!
Britney Spears has Camel Toe Incident
Britney Spears to join cast of Eastwood Movie
Britney Spears' actions too Far Out for Newspaper
Britney Spears Fails To Appear For Latest Custody Hearing
Britney Finally Passes Rolling Stones Audition
Zac Ephron buys Britney Spears' farts
Britney nuthouse motorcade escort cost LA taxpayers $3 million

Poate ca ea nu e chiar atat de ocupata, dar in mod sigur cei care trimit Spam sunt foarte ocupati, iar imaginatia lor in a folosi numele vedetelor o ia catre bizarerii. Am exclus si unele titluri care erau usor prea socante chiar si pentru mine.

De obicei urmaresc si mesajele care ajung in Bulk sau Spam pentru ca se mai intampla ca mesaje importante sau chiar asteptate sa-si gaseasca drum in aceasta categorie. Si pentru ca de mult prea multe ori mi-am racit gura spundu-le la altii sa verifice categoria respectiva, pentru ca mesajul le-a ajuns acolo.

Cine vorbeste despre sex?

Nimeni nu vorbeste despre sex. Nici macar nu se aduce in discutie acest subiect in conversatie. Nimeni nu glumeste pe acest subiect in blogosfera sau pe vreun site serios. Si daca oamenii sunt serioasi, dar isi doresc sa glumeasca, daca stilul lor de a vorbi este unul care face trimiteri la toate originile. Nu-mi place sa injur si chiar ii taxez pe cei care o fac, dar sunt unii oameni pe care ii prinde doar acest fel de a vorbi. Face parte din farmecul lor si stii ca atunci cand te injura nu o fac din rautate, si nu pentru ca e vreo afectiune, ci pentru ca fce parte din felul lor de a trai.

De aceea il citesc pe Groparu. Pentru ca el injura cu cap. Si cred ca vorbesc de partea aia cu creier. Sau macar sper, ca de cunoscut nu-l cunosc.

Asa ca nu mare mi-a fost mirarea cand am descoperit azi o paginuta neconventionala a unui service, si anume Realmoto - Service. Intrati de va minunati: http://realmoto.ro/service

Niciodata fara protectie

Cine spune ca reclamele care se folosesc de sex nu au succes? Iata din nou un exemplu!





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