Numai iesean sa nu fii in jurul datei de 14 octombrie

Sa fii iesean in aceste zile este destul de dificil. Evenimentele desfasurate sau permise de primaria orasului aproape ca paralizeaza desfasurarea activitatii in mod obisnuit.

Printre evenimetele care escaladeaza de la an la an sunt comerciantii de haine de piele si de alte blanuri care impanesc anul acesta mai tot spatiul de pe langa Hala, alaturi de vanzatorii de vinuri, must, carnuri si de acum traditionalii mici foarte mici.

Strada Palatului e paralizata de vanzatori de marfuri din depozite, baloane, lucruri mai mult sau mai putin originale si "produse traditionale" precum porumb fiert, colaci secuiesti si castane prajite.

Pe Splai Bahlui te poti invarti si ameti in diferite masinarii, astfel ca si strada asta e blocata.

Pe Stefan cel Mare poti cumpara "lucruri sfintite", cel mai adesea produse la imprimanta si doar imprimate cu sfintit. Am si eu primita o punga de astfel de matanii, cu "sfintit" pe ele si care au ajuns la mine din intamplare.

Ca un bonus, ieri a fost o ploaie zdravana, astfel incat fiecare iesean cu masina a facut o ora fata de cele 10 minute necesare in mod obisnuit. 20 de minute s-au transformat in 2 ore pentru toti cei care au circulat prin Tudor, Nicolina, Gara s.a.

Am facut peste 40 de minute pentru a ajunge acasa, geaca mea din piele a fost atat de bine vopsita incat culoarea din ea a intrat in puloverul alb purtat pentru prima data, mi-a fost frig, m-am udat si aburii degajati de hainele mele au contribuit la buna aburire a geamurilor din masina, ajutandu-l astfel pe sotior sa-si pastreze calmul in conditiile excelente de trafic pana acasa.

Let's smile!

Senior Moments

LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES:

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into.
She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher:
"They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.

The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."


FAMILY

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."


"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"

"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."

And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."


LITTLE LADY:

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.

As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex."

She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."


OLD FRIENDS:

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.

Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"


SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"


DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection.

The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through.

The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?"

Operatiunea "Chilotii Rosii"

Citisem acum cateva zile despre cum vor guvernantii nostri sa convinga romanii sa se lase de fumat. Operatiunea asta eu o numesc "Chilotii Rosii" si nu campanie “Stop Fumat!”. Azi am vazut si primul afis, nu foarte bine pentru ca cei care intindeau afisele se intindeau cam mult sa aseze sau sa netezeasca rotunjimile Mihaelei Radulescu.

Compania care a castigat licitatia si care se ocupa de promovarea proiectului de peste 700.000 euro are ca actionar majoritar pe sotul Mihaelei, Elan Schwartzenberg.

Doamna se mandreste tare cu aceasta campanie care, crede ea, va duce la disperarea "nevestelor care vor fi suparate pe mine" si multumirea "domnilor care vor plescai fericiti". Eu am o impresie ca se inseala macar in privinta catorva neveste si a catorva barbati.

Mai ales ca unii sunt nefumatori, deci pentru ei e inca o vedeta mai putin imbracata pe un afis. Iar pentru cei mai multi conducatori auto, majoritar barbati(cum se stie), prioritar este sa fie atenti dupa bizonii din circulatie, nu dupa chilotii rosii de pe panouri. Asa ca raman "nevestele suparate" care si ele pot fi nefumatoare.

Sunt invitate si alte vedete, care vor poza doar in camasa alba si...surpriza...chiloti rosii! Pe cand si o vedeta masculina in urmatorii chiloti rosii, ca eu sigur nu ma mai apuc de fumat!


sursa imagine: www.yuppy.ro

LE: nu mai este sotul ei. Si sigur nu ma apuc de fumat.

Joke of the day

Women Drivers

This morning on the M1 I looked over to my left and there was a WOMAN in a brand new Holden doing 100 kph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.
As a man,I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my pants,and disconnected an important call.

!! Damn women drivers !!

Semaforizare noua in Iasi

Pentru cei care nu au treaba foarte des cu masina prin Tudor are mai putina importanta acest lucru, dar pentru cei care merg zilnic prin intersectia dintre Splai Bahlui inspre Tudor sau in celelalte zone nu este necesar sa amintesc tipul de cosmar cu care te confrunti intr-o intersectie aglomerata in care nu drumul tau e cel cu prioritate. Dupa plecarea studentilor circulatia a devenit ceva mai rezonabila si au aparut semafoarele. Care semafoare au mai bine de o luna in care au fost de decor, astfel incat ne gandeam cu groaza ca se asteapta luna septembrie sau octombrie pentru pornirea acestora. Aseara a vazut sotiorul ca sunt si functionale. Dimineata le-am vazut si eu,de pe locul din dreapta(inca), functionand pe galben intermitent, pentru a-i invata pe soferi ca de acum trebuie sa fie atenti la ele.

Nu-i multumesc lui Nechita pentru miciunile lui cu "fluidizarea traficului", de vreme ce inca mai sunt multe gropi si multe probleme pe strazile din Iasi, pe care le rezolva "in timp"( pentru ca marile proiecte se cladesc in timp!!!), dar probabil ca nu in timpul mandatului sau.